The Roast of Tom Brady

Since I made the terrible mistake of watching the entire thing, I feel like I have to say something about it.

Winners (roughly in order):

1. Nikki Glaser. I was sad and angry at her new look, but she's the roast god. For commentary on such a look, see roast god Greg Giraldo at the roast of Joan Rivers.
2. Kevin Hart. After his last few specials I was worried he was washed up, not as a celebrity but as a real comic. He delivered as roast host beyond comedy, as a man, bringing people together. He was warm and funny and genuine when everything else was unpleasant.
3. Sam Jay
4. Belichik
5. Drew Bledsoe. Decent delivery, all things considered.

Losers (roughly in order):

1. Rob Gronkowski
2. Ben Affleck
3. Randy Moss
4. Bert Kreischer. I have never heard of this guy. He was painful.