I haven't seen a bad movie in quite a while. I almost forgot it was possible. Hercules is like Spirited, the last bafflingly bad movie I remember: it's not just bad bad, it's bafflingly bad, meaning it had the elements to be okay, but it managed to be bad in some unspeakable way.
I wonder why adults figured they should write a Hercules movie as though they were tweens rather than competent adults. I think I could have written this movie in 9th grade. But surely I would have chosen an interesting piece of the Hercules story? Why in the world would I have chosen this plot? It eschews the obvious storylines, not for unexpectedly profound side plots but for expectedly boring side plots. The Hercules story is great; why would you ever choose this plot?
And having chosen this plot, you need to write some dialogue like this is a real movie. It cost $100M to make -- just write like it's a real movie.
I didn't enjoy The Rock at all. He has the arms for it; everything else feels phony.
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