I never loved Dany. I certainly rooted for her a handful of times, and she's a better choice of queen than Cersei, but she never seized my affection like the Starks. That feels strange, like she should have been my hero. First my mind goes to misogyny, considering my three favorite characters were two ubermenschen plus one tomboy. But at the same time, I loved Sansa's strong female leadership in the later seasons. But I didn't love Dany's. So the best way to illuminate my distaste for Dany may be to contrast with Sansa.
As I've said before, I wonder if it's just a matter of acting. Dany carries too much pride. Sansa is proud of her family, but her pride arrives through a history of pain, and when she's smug, you can see the pain in her eyes, and you think she deserves a moment of victory in this infinity of defeat. Dany is smug more often, and I can't see the pain in her eyes. She's a Targaryen after all... it's hard to pity the Targaryens. They are the perfect creatures, who ruled ruthlessly for so long. Dany felt much misfortune, to be sure, it's just that that doesn't come across in her countenance, I guess. When she is sad or hurt, it still feels a little pompous. She just feels like a proud princess, even though she's battling back from nothing. I've never once felt that type of pride from a Stark. So I think there's some smugness in the acting job that fails to convey the history of pain.
Had the actors switched places, how would I have felt? Sansa was smug enough, at times -- especially early on -- that it's possible to imagine her as another distasteful Dany. And I don't think Dany's appearance necessarily forces pomposity; I can see liking her as Jon's sister, for example. So there is something in the acting.
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