The Northman

Simple Hamlet story with a little paranormal intrigue, a little abstract art, an adequate amount of good clean (dirty) viking content, and a protagonist without a personality. Northman : Game of Thrones as The Batman : the Nolan trilogy. The former are so serious! I like that though. I just wish Amleth was more likable. Skarsgard is ideal for the role in form, but not in affect. Again, it feels like Pattinson's Batman who's so grim you can't really feel the tension of his potential demise. If he falls, he doesn't fall very far, right? I'll call on another grim revenge flick there too: Leo in The Revenant is so dead in all essence he may as well be in all actuality. It's hard to root for such a barren protagonist. Skarsgard is a brutal desert. How can we avoid a desert protagonist when all they've known is fear and anger? Ironically, Dune offers a clinic. Paul is charismatic, competent, growing, impressionable, wise, measured. Amleth is just a machine.

I think this is my first Eggers. I thought he'd be more visionary. Beyond a few inspired scenes -- eschewing subtlety, as I wanted! -- this was so basic. It's hard for me not to like a classic viking tale... indeed I liked it... but it wasn't very original, or even a transcendent formulation of an old form. It was just a tough tale well-told.

I can handle a very serious movie -- I might even prefer it -- but I'd like there to be some joy or love at stake. The Northman, like The Revenant, was long robbed of such hopes; revenge was the only thing at stake, which makes a very serious movie a slog. Model grim character who's still driven by prospects of love and joy: Ned Stark.

Amleth showed no hint of achieving joy or love, so I showed no hint of investing in his plight. I simply sat behind the poker table and watched.

I wonder what Keith Urban thought of his wife's performance. His taste probably ranges from Country Strong to Yellowstone. Eyes Wide Shut and The Northman fall just a bit outside that range.

I'm surprised Anya is a highly-sought heroine, as she's definitely not a stunner. But I can see how she has some kind of magnetism. She's like a fully conscious bombshell, minus being a bombshell -- that is, for people who find consciousness sensual. I'm biased though because someone told Erik she's his type. Once you hear someone is someone's type, you start to see it, especially if you typically empathize with that person.