GNX

What a great album. It bumps, just like "Not Like Us"; I'm guessing that's Mustard I'm detecting, though Kendrick has found a new flow for those types of beats as well. Yet, as on every album, he balances great beats with a couple of long-toothed introspective tracks. It'd be sad if he didn't.

It's getting so hard to rank his albums. I'm still putting TPAB on top. I think that's a combination of nostalgia and superiority. But GKMC, DAMN, MMBS, and GNX are all mingling. GKMC gets the earliness bias. But GNX is honestly one of the best collections of beats I think he's done. It's not his most profound album but the vibes are so strong. He's just cruising. While other rappers are struggling to mold their legacy out of clay, he's just dumping cement all over his. I can't imagine there's anyone more productive in greatness in the history of hip hop. Everyone else either flashed quickly or fell asleep for a while. Kendrick never slept. He had a kid and came out as strong as ever. He continues to innovate, not to the artistic heights of TPAB, but by showing us what's possible in a great and hard-working MC.

Can Kendrick's catalog summarize the entire value of rap? What's missing? He has politics, introspection, city love, violence, wordplay, musicality, great beats, humor, jazz, soul... I guess he doesn't really have rock, but I don't care much about rock rap. Who has something he doesn't have? He's not the funniest rapper, but some of his stuff is pretty funny. Ye did more for rap fusion, but Kendrick is insanely versatile. Does he serve and represent his community as well as someone like Pac or Jay-Z? I'm not sure. I'm so far from those communities. I only see the music itself. Musically, how is Kendrick not the GOAT?

GNX is a straightforward classic.

Sometimes I wish musicians leaned on nostalgia like movies. Every franchise movie is excessively nostalgic. But I would die for Bob Dylan, Kendrick, Bon Iver, anyone to do callbacks to their old stuff. Maybe it's a real artist's nature to press forward.

Game of Thrones

In rewatching numerous episodes I was afraid to rewatch "Baelor." Even seeing the episode Littlefinger betrays him was hard to watch, for the sickness growing in my guts. I summoned the courage for "Baelor" and it was bittersweet. I forgot that was the very episode Robb gets his first victory, a highlight of the entire series. Things are in motion, hope is kindled, all conflict seems to be the standard conflict of entertainment. Then it shatters into, as far as I'm concerned, one of the most crushing events in modern entertainment. The evening I watched that episode the first time, I didn't have time to watch another episode, but I did anyway. I thought I could watch "Baelor", whatever that meant, in this shallow but fun TV show, and move on with my evening. Instead I watched the next episode as well and remained emotionally distant from my friend that evening. I thought about "Baelor" right before falling asleep and right after waking up. This fun TV show became a wound, one I didn't think could heal itself, so I wanted to walk away from it. I was juuuuust invested enough in winter and dragons to persevere, but I never recovered.

Why was it so devastating? I thought there was no way Ned dies. Were there hints? I guess Robert's demise was insightfully sudden. Too sudden. Confusing, in fact, but merely confusing, not devastating, because he wasn't the heart of the show. There was no emotional blow to prepare us for "Baelor" because any emotional blow that occurred was infused with hope that things turn around by the end of the season. Sure, the season was good emotional TV, but always hopeful. "Baelor" destroyed all hope. It made Game of Thrones a world I didn't want to inhabit. Indeed, as I grimaced through the next few seasons, I dreaded Game of Thrones itself, I didn't like living there, I endured it purely for curiosity.

Why write such evil into the story? To make a splash? You made a splash, and you made haters of viewers you want to be lovers. I should be a good fan for Martin. I would think he'd want me to love the series. But I don't, because of things like "Baelor." I don't love GoT, nor ASOIAF. I'm very interested, and quite entertained, but I really don't love them.

I love the world, I love the characters, I love the prose, I resent the story. And that's a big detractor.

Valhalla Rising

Love setting and atmosphere. Could use a little more action. Could use a tiny bit more emotion. This place is desolate.

Frances Ha

How can such a team player keep getting benched, yet stay so positive about it? Frances is the highest-quality form of ineffective, condemned to the sidelines by her sloppiness in a rigorous world, a sloppiness which is also her greatness. You can't motivate her because you can't injure her. In a room of people who are beyond whipping, she's the only delightful one, because her stubbornness isn't vindictive or insane, it's actually more sane, and full of whimsy.

Frances, if at all realistic, is rare.

This is my first Baumbach. It reminded me of Breathless: freewheeling, urban, loose, playful. For a while in the movie I thought the whole world was going to be childish, but then I found out that's just all of the first handful of characters introduced. Once they foil with the real people, it's bitter to realize the light-souled have no place in this world. America elevates dark souls.

Frances is so lovable, with a rich, original performance by Gerwig. The energy of this movie is exceptional.

Maybe I ought to take myself less seriously.

3/4

Game of Thrones

Rhaegar taking Lyanna began unrest in Westeros after hundreds of peaceful years.

Jon Arryn's murder began the North getting embroiled.

Littlefinger blaming the murder and the dagger on Lannisters prohibited the North from looking away.

The Lannisters beheading Ned for refusing to look away began the war.

Lyanna is giving Helen. Is this obvious? Rhaegar is the prince, Paris, that steals her, from I believe Menelaus, Robert. So Robert sails on Troy, King's Landing under the Targaryens. Robert and his Myrmidons win. But in this case Odysseus has no trouble getting home to Winterfell. I guess Martin skipped The Odyssey and assumed the conquerors took over Troy.

Her

So far so good, actually. I loved this movie when it came out, then possibly didn't see it for a decade, while my opinion of it gradually diminished. Why does time favor certain things and diminish others? I associated Her with the romantic immaturity of that time in my life.

Seeing it now, it's actually clever. I doubt it'll prick me like it did then, but it's clever.

I'm only an hour in.

Continuing to watch... wow the emotions of the script and acting here are nuanced. It's starting to make sense why I rocketed it up to my list of 30 or so favorite movies back then after one watch. It has the honest feeling I craved then. Joaquin, Scarlett, Amy, and Rooney really do a nice job.

The downside of this film being so emotionally intelligent is the historic number of times a character says "...you okay?" Nobody got time for that. Sometimes it's just their job to express their concern or deal with it themselves. These characters are too caring! What a utopian dystopia. Maybe it's just Theodore's (Jonze's) circle that's so sensitive.

Back when I used to think I was so empathetic...

Theodore and Catherine talking over divorce papers felt so familiar, on an electrostatic level. This is not only because I've worked with delicate exes but because of Mara's performance. I didn't understand why she gave this movie half a mind until I saw that scene. Actually I had a similar experience with Amy Adams... didn't understand why she gave her humble minor character the time of day, in her lucrative career, until her breakup in the movie. Then she shines through the anti-makeup, glows through her glowdown.

I can't believe I'm saying this may be a great film. It would be way too on-the-nose if released today, but it shone prescient in its time; and even beyond the AI gimmick, the pathos is perfect. Slightly too sentimental for me, yet exact.

Is this how people felt with old cheesy movies though? That Gone with the Wind portrayed authentic emotion? It feels like Her actually does though, timelessly. It feels like good cinema is actually approaching emotional accuracy over time. We'll see how Her looks at 30.

Scarlett is actually my least favorite of the main performances. Maybe she tries extra hard to sound expressive, to compensate the absence of non-verbals and to amplify the uncanny fact that she's a computer, but it's actually too expressive. Exaggerated, almost childish in a few moments. Still mature in other moments though.

I finally finished, after a few sessions. Didn't love the ending. Things just got progressively sappier... didn't we already have a bummer conflict or two? isn't it usually one per movie?... and the resolution wasn't very emotionally satisfying nor very interesting. The premise permitted both, but the movie achieved neither.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship

I must be a full fantasy nerd now because I'm claiming Sean Bean suffers two of the most devastating deaths in modern culture. I used to roundly dislike Boromir. This time I dare say he was my dearest character. The moment he first appeared in the movie -- image of the splendor of Ned Stark in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world -- and the moment he lunged to protect Merry and Pippin were two of the most potent for me this time around. Boromir is more tragic than flawed. Yes he's arrogant, yes corruptible by the ring, but over the years I've come to appreciate the ring's power to corrupt. Boromir is tragic in that he, without understanding, flies too close to the sun; through no fault of his own he's the only member of the most corruptible race who ends up in such a tight orbit of the ring.

Gladiator

Gladiator seemed right up my alley, with plenty of accolades behind it, yet managed to be pretty blase. I figure everything that made it exciting in 2000 Game of Thrones leveled up since then. It felt distinctly unviolent, which is a concerning thing to say about a film rated R for "intense, graphic combat." Other adult elements felt censored. And the script was cheesy. GoT is witty-cheesy, but Gladiator was takes-itself-too-seriously-cheesy, tries-to-sound-epic-cheesy. I hate founding an entire assessment on comparison to a like work, but like works totally adjust the value. Gladiator is so much less valuable in the wake of things like GoT. Really the only distinction serving Gladiator was its Roman setting. I enjoy such history. Everything else was a rushed, censored version of a GoT episode. I can't see Gladiator without thinking about GoT, and I can't pretend to enjoy Gladiator just because it predated GoT. I didn't like nor dislike Gladiator -- it was probably epic at the time and now pales beside later epics.

La La Land

Did they win or lose in the end? I'm sure on first watch I thought they lost. Clearly they still feel something for one another -- lingering look at the end, Sebastian plays their melody, Mia replays the fantasy -- so they must be discontent with their current lives. They wouldn't revert to that melody and that fantasy if they were over each other and happy now. Right? At the time, I'd only seriously loved one person. I couldn't really imagine being content while the last relationship lingered. It needed to stop lingering before I could win in the end. But between La La Land viewings I learned that was false. People can love multiple people, especially in different forms, and emotions can return in sharp pulses that don't need to upset your entire life strategy. Mia's strategy is her career, husband, and child, presumably. Sebastian's is his club. Each is successful by that strategy. A sharp pulse of nostalgia, bittersweetness, even regret, needn't invalidate that strategy. It merely illuminates the necessary cost of living, the price of love and loss. They aren't over one another in the sense of total emotional desert. They're over one another (probably, I think the movie says) in the sense that they accepted the sacrifice of the relationship for their other dreams' sake. I remember feeling like Sebastian wasn't quite over it though... I was acutely biased at the time, but he also initiates the reconnect with his song, and he doesn't make a move to sever it like she does by leaving. But he does smile. Maybe he's just accepted she'll inevitably go, and smiling at the inevitable is better than crying. Or maybe he's over it in the sense of acknowledging that relationship is incompatible with his jazz club dream. Or at least it was! while she was in Paris. Maybe it isn't incompatible anymore. Anyway, I feel sorrier for Sebastian, part by bias, part because he does less to announce the end than she does. Yet his dream is the jazz club, and her going to Paris wasn't compatible. Maybe he's over it. She certainly tries to be. Maybe she's not, but anyway it isn't impossible like I previously thought. I thought it was impossible for them to be over it based on their behavior and based on my misperception that loving twice is incoherent. A body leaves a hole; another body fills a part of it, and can add much more; the hole may never be filled entirely, yet you can feel okay, and anyway life isn't about entirely filling every hole. Life never promises completion. Life swiss-cheeses you like Sonny Corleone, to different degrees depending on the person, and most people can mostly recover. Most people still live with those wounds though. Some wounds are irreversible, like Frodo's shoulder. That's okay. We can still find full life. Life needn't be perfect and painless. Pain is part of life. Mia and Sebastian are haunted by their relationship, at least in this sharp pulse, perhaps more often. That doesn't mean they made mistakes, that doesn't mean they should abandon their present lives, as I previously believed. Maybe they just live with the pain.

When I first saw this movie, I didn't know how to live with pain.